When it comes to relationships, we may equate “betrayal” with infidelity. This is accurate, of course, but only the tip of the iceberg. Anytime one’s trust is broken, it is a betrayal. This could, of course, involve lying, sharing personal information, broken promises, treachery, deception, or anything that leaves you questioning your perception of reality. Betrayal has the power to make you ask: “Did I ever really know this person?” Not surprisingly, betrayal can impact your mental health in several detrimental ways.
Why Betrayal Happens
A big part of living a happy life means making attachments and learning how to trust.
Ironically, betrayal happens because you have developed trust with someone and it has been violated. This doubled-edge sword heightens the pain in such situations. But why does one person consciously betray another? The reasons often center around feelings and emotions like:
Greed
Lust
Ambition
Passion
Even someone claims they were acting for some kind of greater good, at least one of these four motivating factors was almost certainly in play. Such factors can be powerful enough to temporarily cancel out one of the most essential foundations of love: trust.
How Betrayal Changes Things
Let’s be clear: betrayal can and often results in trauma. The offshoots of this reality are numerous. Here are some common examples:
Guilt
Hyper-vigilance (fear of trusting again)
Depression
Feeling emotionally numb
Paranoia and suspicion
Loss of self-esteem
Increase in self-doubt
Shame
Avoidance of attachments
In addition, research has shown that betrayals might trigger post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) — resulting in behavior like:
Nightmares
Withdrawing from others
Reliving both positive and negative moments with the person who betrayed you
Flashbacks to the moment of betrayal
Self-Help Steps to Manage Betrayal Trauma
Maintain a Balanced Perspective
This begins by not placing the blame on yourself. Do not seek temporary “relief” via destructive and self-destructive behaviors. Channel that energy instead into self-care and — when you feel better equipped to do so — it may be productive to look back and discover the lessons you can take from this dreadful experience.
Practice Daily Self-Care
You have a long road to recovery ahead of you. This road is far more navigable if you are taking care of your needs. Daily self-care would, of course, include emotional relief like relaxation techniques and stress management. But your physical health is under siege, too. This makes it so important to aim for:
Healthy eating habits: Avoid binge eating, comfort foods, and “self-medicating”
Daily activity and exercise: Movement benefits your body and mind!
Rest when necessary: Be patient with and kind to yourself
Regular sleep patterns: This is a foundation for recovery
A few more emotional self-help basics:
Focus on what feels good for you. Set and attain short-term goals. Rebuild your confidence.
Keep a daily journal to monitor your moods, triggers, and progress.
Avoid rebound relationships. The temptation will be strong but it is very rarely a good idea to expect someone else to fill that empty space right now. The alone time can be a gift. It is a time for self-reflection, discovery, and restoration.
Ask for help. Lean on your personal support system but also, seek professional guidance (see below).
Why Counseling Matters
The biggest challenge and the biggest step will be learning to trust again. It will feel like an impossible risk at first, that’s why it makes sense to seek help. Regular counseling is a consistent journey toward two broad goals: healing the trauma and recapturing a healthy balance in your life. Your therapist will be your guide — offering comfort, knowledge, and a compassionate, listening ear when you need it most. Please contact me soon for a consultation.
