Grief is normal, healthy, and necessary. Yet, it feels anything but normal when loss hits us hard.
Whether you’re coping with the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship or the destruction of a dream, loss often ushers in a season of heartbreak that can hurt us deeply.
In addition, for many of us, the grieving process is misunderstood, mistaken for weakness and even subject to judgment by others.
Yet, if you’re in a season of grief right now, what’s most important is a path to the help you need for healing and a hopeful future.
So, what will it take to get through your grief? It’s important to remember the following:
It’s Okay to Go Slow
Grief is not standard. None of us experience grief in the same way. There is no rush to “get through “the emotions associated with loss. You simply want to navigate them productively and completely. The goal is to allow time for the process.
Reject the idea of a grief timetable and embrace the notion of healthy progress.
Acknowledge the Grief Stages but Release Grief “Rules”
Your grief is yours. There is no wrong way to grieve. You’ve likely heard of the stages of grief and have seen them play out in others. It’s true that there are commonalities in the process. The five stages of grief are
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Ideally, you want to be sensitive to your progress through the stages (though you may not go through every stage), where you feel psychologically stuck, and your unique emotional needs.
Pay Attention to Yourself on a Holistic Level
Grief is powerful. The stress of it all can flood your system with stress hormones that leave you mentally drained and physically pained. You might experience trouble concentrating, racing thoughts, an upset stomach or persistent headaches.
It is normal to experience upset on many levels. To come through your loss well, you need to avoid damage to your mind, body, and relationships. Try to mitigate any persistent overwhelm, distress, or isolation.
Self-care is critical. Maintain a healthy sleep schedule and diet. Stay away from drugs or alcohol. Avoid beating yourself up or indulging in self-neglect and self-criticism. Be kind and find ways to release tension. Don’t underestimate the need to connect with non-judgemental loved ones.
Recognize that Sharing and Support are Vital for Forward Movement
If you find you are experiencing depression and anxiety, you may benefit from sharing and processing your loss with an experienced grief counselor. Someone who can recognize signs of grief that has become more complicated or persistently negative.
A therapist can provide a place for safe expression, suggest healing strategies, and support you as healing takes hold. Together, you can navigate your stages of grief and find healthy ways to honor your experience. Having a professional who is dedicated to helping you pace yourself, progress, and find relief and healing is often the best gift you can give yourself to feeling whole again.
Take the Next Step
The more you understand grief and what you need to get through it, the more you will feel comfortable that your bereavement is unique to you. You’re not alone, grief is not shameful or a sign of weakness. I’m here to help. Please read more about grief counseling and contact me soon for a consultation.